This is much harder than I had thought. Well, that's false. It's exactly as hard as I'd thought. It's as tough as I'd feared, difficult as I'd imagined. And I have a pretty good imagination.
I thought I had the good escape of hiding out with the exercycle in the garage. When I got up this morning my knee was killing me; I guess my little workout the day before did a lot more harm than I'd thought. Crap, I can't even do some simple spinning. I had a little tension on the spin, emphasis on little, and I was out there less than an hour. I'll be making an appointment with the doctor as soon as I get home, this has been going on long enough. I've already decided that I won't be able to run Kaiser (again) and who knows when I'll be back running at all.
So that's the problem. I have no release, no escape, no activity, no endorphins flooding my bloodstream. I'm still trying my hardest to be sweet, helpful and a good caregiver. Everything against my natural personality. Heh. That's not true either. I keep repeating my mantra while I'm helping my mom: it's not about me.
Words to live by?
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