Good news and bad news

The good news is excellent indeed. Friday I had the first (and only) test to see what's going on with my lungs. I was not expecting my doctor to call that evening with the results. The good news/bad news thing was what he said first, and he gave me the good news immediately. My lungs are in pretty good condition. Smoking like a chimney for 23 years did not cause irreparable damage as I had thought; I won't have to run with an oxygen tank after all! The test showed mild asthma, most likely exercise induced. Just like we thought. So what's causing my breathing problem? He didn't put it quite this way, but in a word, I'm fat. Yep, I'm fat, and either I can stop running any kind of distance or I can lose weight.

Ok, relative to diseased lungs, being overweight isn't even on the same scale. Unless you've been trying to lose weight for most of your life, as have I. I know I can lose weight, I've done it before. Well, I was 16 years younger, still had hormones, smoked most of my meals and drank the rest, and lived with an abusive husband, but I did lose weight. Now I just have to come up with a plan that will work for me now. I'm pretty sure I know what to do.

Be hungry. That's it, pure and simple. I'll be hungry all the time (cranky and tired too, but that's another story). I have to eat only 1000 calories per day, exercise obsessively, eliminate all sugars and alcohol, and I'll lose weight. About 1/4 pound per week, if the past is any indication. Sounds like fun, doesn't it? Yeah, me either. It pretty much means cutting out all social life too (not that I really have much of one to begin with, except running), because most social occasions involve food and booze. And I love food and booze, and treasure my time spent with friends.

Sure, if I'm in a restaurant I can order a plain salad with no dressing and a piece of dry grilled fish or chicken with no sauce. Yumm, doesn't that sound dandy. Not. And I can drink water while watching my buddies drink martinis and wine. Uh huh, not a problem, I'm sure.

I do have another choice, I can keep things the way they are now. I can plod and gasp along in the back of the pack, run alone because I can't keep up with my friends the way I breathe now. They'll slow down for me, but I know it's hard to run much slower than your natural pace because I've done it before and I'll start feeling like crap keeping them back and they'll stop running with me because I'm such a crab because I'm feeling guilty. Ok no, that won't work, will it.

Wow, this is the most depressing good news I've heard in a long time. I need a bear hug.

I'm jumping ahead in the bears, they'll be out of acquisition order from now on, and will depend on my mood. Today's Gratuitous Bear of the Day is Hi Yo Silver (away!). Known as HiYo or Silver. HiYo is a very special Vermont Teddy Bear. He's their Silver Anniversary Bear, to celebrate their 25 years in business. I got him to celebrate my 25th Half Marathon. Yeah, that was stretching it, but I wanted him because he was JUST SO CUTE!