Four hours, fifteen minutes

I hit a new age group today. Unfortunately I'm still not old enough or fast enough to qualify for Boston. Twenty five years from today, if I run my current PR (which I haven't come close to for 5 years), I will qualify. Since I'm merely 55 today (holy crap that's OLD!) I'm too young for my speed. Since there are a lot of fast broads in the 55-59 age group I'm still unlikely to win my age group in any type of event, except those in which I'm the only female 55-59.

My 54th year will not go down in the books as one of my favorites. In fact, it could very well rival any other year of my life as the least favorite. This year will be better.

For one, "55" is a much nicer number than "54." It just sounds better rolling off the tongue. Easier to remember.

For another, I've had the marvelous intervention of modern pharmaceuticals. Never underestimate the value of chemistry. There were days last summer when I highly doubted that (and didn't care whether) I'd reach 55. The overwhelming despair is gone, along with the burning pit of hell in my stomach. I don't see giving up my lovely drugs any time in the near future and I'm willing to adjust them as necessary to continue this quality of life.

For yet another, my friends who DIDN'T leave town last year have promised to stay here. Although I tend towards being a hermit, my friends are what make it worthwhile to leave the house. They are fun and warm and caring (and not a little bit pushy) and make sure that I'm doing ok.

Finally, I'm at a point in my life where, for the most part, I can do what I want. I'm old enough to have been there, done that. I know that my mind is strong and focused and determined. Within reason I can push my body to greater limits than I would have ever thought possible at 25 or 35. Although I don't necessarily agree that with age comes wisdom, I think the years have provided many learning experiences.

I'm not celebrating this year. Last year's birthday started a downward spiral from which I still haven't fully recovered so I decided to do things differently this year. I'm going to observe the date the way I want (well, after work -- I still have to work, darn it!). Thirty years ago (hell, 10 years ago) (fine, 5 years ago) I would have gone out to eat and consumed vast quantities of fattening food and way more alcohol than anyone needs, stayed out too late and felt like crap the next morning. Tonight I'm going for a run.

Damn, I AM old!