Monday, May 11, 2009

My new "diet"

What was only a sporadic thing, then a slight trend, has now become my almost daily way of eating. I have named it the "what the hell were you thinking????" diet. To date this diet has not caused weight gain or loss but it isn't healthy or approved by any official sources so I don't suggest you attempt to follow it. Some examples of the "what the hell were you thinking????" diet are:
Eat a normal healthy breakfast. Eat a salad with many mixed fresh veggies and some fish or fowl for protein. For dinner eat a bag of cheese popcorn. As a late night snack eat 2 cups of jelly bellies. Look at self in mirror and say "what the hell were you thinking????" and then go to bed.

At lunch eat tomato soup. Half hour later wrap arms around middle of body and say "what the hell were you thinking????"

Eat a regular, healthy lunch and dinner. Afterward sit down with a carton of ice cream and consume most of it. All together now, "what the hell were you thinking????"

Eat a large bunch of cherries, or strawberries, or some pineapple or an orange. "What the hell were you thinking???"

Run several miles after work. For dinner eat only a bag of Baked Ruffles with a glass of wine. "What the hell were you thinking????"
It's not like I haven't been obsessed with the food I eat since high school (and not like that wasn't over 35 years ago). It's not like I haven't spent years on Weight Watchers or other diets and years measuring out correct portion sizes. It's not like I couldn't tell you the calories or fat content of every single thing I put in my mouth. And it's not like I'm happy with the way my clothes fit or the way I look or feel.

The good news is that I haven't gained any weight (... yet). The bad news is I'm certainly doing myself no favors eating like this and I'm certainly not fueling my body for the athletic performance I expect. Much of the food I've been eating I like, I like a lot, but it's crap even in small portions. With the recurring stomach problems I've had since last year I've had to limit many foods, including most fruits and some acidic veggies (and, sadly, high alcohol consumption). This means that even good-for-you foods aren't good for me in most cases. So why am I still eating this way?

What the hell was I thinking?

1 comment:

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