True to form

I was scheduled to swim again last night with Ms. Claudia but she was illin' and canceled. So I was supposed to be a big girl and go swim on my own and of course I didn't. I ended up staying at work later than normal, had to run a few errands on the way home, had to finish cleaning my house and do some laundry and had to fit in my therapy. I was tired and cranky and didn't feel like staying up until midnight to get everything done so I blew off the swim. I'm not sorry I did, I got everything done at home. But Claudia can't be sick again because apparently I won't leave my house to exercise unless I'm meeting someone. Feel better Ms. C!

In honor of my mom's 80th birthday this weekend the Gratuitous Bear[s] of the Week are her bears making a repeat appearance. I bought her Pinkerton many years ago when I felt that she needed a bear to improve her quality of life (and of course it worked; bears always improve your quality of life). I gave her Patches when she was in the hospital recovering from hip replacement surgery. Getting into the swing of things, she bought Squidgy herself, just because she's so soft and cute. Happy birthday mommy!

Instant results

That's apparently what I'm expecting from my physical therapy and swimming. I want my knee to feel perfectly normal right now and I want form and speed in the pool immediately. Good luck with that, hmm? My knee is feeling incrementally better and I'm not getting the horrible shooting pains as often. Of course, I'm not running or power walking either but picky picky. And swimming is getting easier but that just gives me more of a chance to see how my kick and my arm stroke and my form need to be improved.

My therapist had been giving me additional exercises each time I went and I kept telling him there's no way I could get them all done twice daily. This week I've been doing them after swimming, finishing about 9:30 pm. When I should be winding down to try to sleep. Today he took the 5 pages of exercises and chopped them down to one page. Right, he shrank them down literally so that they'd fit. Sure, he took off the stretches (although he still wants me to do them) and removed one of the strength exercises, but now he wants me to add ankle weights. I can't complain (to him) since I really want to be able to run, but c'mon now, there are only 24 hours in every day, even if we do get an extra day this month. Rehab is cutting into my resting, knitting, reading and sleeping time. Today when I tried to tell him I'm having trouble finding time, he retorted that "running takes time too!" Yeah, but at least running is fun! (and running fulfills my aerobic exercise needs which rehab doesn't)

My whole family is getting together this weekend (starting tomorrow) to celebrate my mom's 80th birthday. I can't wait to see my sis and bro-in-law. I envision much wine (and vodka) in my near future ...

Almost spring

The hills are green with thick clumps of bright yellow mustard shining in the sun. Daffodils are waving gently in the breeze. Trees have faint green buds and soft white petals. The days are getting longer, the nights warmer.

Ok, that's the theory. Reality has it that there are still big brown patches on the hills where the rain has washed out the hillsides and the latest storms knocked down most of the early blooming flowers. Everything has a gritty layer of yellow pollen on top of the mud or dirt.

I miss running. Claudia and I are swimming along, finding new muscles and trying to get in shape for training. We swam last night and will go again tonight and tomorrow night. I can tell it's a good workout and I'm mostly enjoying what we do. It's getting easier than the first couple of nights and hopefully working on my form will make me more efficient too. At least while it's still dark and cool in the early evenings (cold last night!) the pool is empty and we have no problems getting our own lanes. In fact, we have no problems getting our own half of the pool. I think that might change in a couple of weeks when Daylight Savings Times starts.

I knit a bit more last night on my Art Yarns beaded silk shawl. What a joy it is to have that wonderful yarn running through your fingers, sliding on the needles. I think it'll be gorgeous when it's done, I can't wait. I also can't wait to get into knitting some of the projects that I envision from the Stitches yarn. Everything seems better when you have good yarn!

Dazzled at Stitches

I said I wasn't going to get into a buying frenzy at Stitches West on Friday. I didn't. No really, no frenzy involved. I just happened to buy lots and lots and lots and lots of stuff. Yarn, patterns, yarn, a book, yarn, cases, yarn, bags and more yarn. Oh, not just any plain old yarn. I bought some malabrigo. Lots of malabrigo from several different vendors. Beautiful colors that needed a home with me. Great prices, so how could I resist?I got more of the Art Yarns Beaded Silk to finish the small stole. It matches as much as different dye lots possibly could. A gorgeous pink/gray hunk of superwash merino from Tess' Designer Yarns that's amazingly soft and fluffy. Lovely skeins of kid mohair from Wagtail Yarns in Australia in red and black with scarf patterns to match. A couple of skeins of exceptional yarn from Blue Moon Fiber Arts, their newish bulky Leticia in Pallas Athena. I can only shout to the world how much I love their Raven Clan colorways. I was very thankful that as usual, their booth had been decimated by the hordes before I got there. Otherwise I'd probably have a roomful of ravens. It makes me wish I knit socks!I tried to pass by the Brooks Farm Yarn booth and didn't make it without first buying a couple of skeins of their Solana. I was also trying to avoid browsing through the Webs booth and was similarly unsuccessful. I brought home some Inca Print Alpaca and their own Valley Yarns Lenox, a baby alpaca/merino yarn. I picked up a reversible cable scarf pattern to go with it. I bought a skein of Dream in Color's Classy in Nightwatch and it'll be a hat when I get around to it.

Throw in another beautiful pin from Gita Maria, a circular needle case from Foxyknits, a book of Knitted Lace Shawls patterns - Wrapped in Comfort, a very cool red bamboo knitting bag and oh, did I mention I bought a little bit of Malabrigo?

Luckily Claudia had packed us a lunch because we were there for the whole day. Up one aisle, down another, up the next. Making sure not to miss anything. Ms. Claudia was supposed to be my anchor. Supposed to help me be sensible. Wrongo! She went over her own limit so how could I resist going over mine? Actually, my limit was "you have no room for any more yarn so don't buy anything." And I definitely passed that limit.

I didn't run this weekend and I don't think I'll be running any time soon. Despite faithfully doing my exercises and stretches that take forever to do each day, my knee is still sore. My therapist continues to add more to my daily regimen each appointment and sure, it would be nice to spend the entire day trying to get my knee rehabbed but I have a few other daily tasks. Like work. Like grocery shopping. Like cleaning house. Like walking around Stitches West for 6 hours or so. I miss running. I miss my running friends. I miss my outside time. I miss covering the miles and feeling righteous when I eat. I miss sleeping. Most of all I miss having my left knee feel like it's fine.

A little off the top

Here I am, trying to lose weight, trying to make less of myself, wanting to be smaller. Little did I realize that it's automatic as you get older, though not quite what you'd wish. I'm shrinking. I'm no longer 5'7" tall, as I've been since I was about 13 or 14 years old. I shrank and I'm only 5'6-3/4" tall now. Darn. At this rate I'll be Anita's height soon.

I'm supposed to swim tonight and I'm hoping the weather cooperates. Our pretty spring has reverted back to winter. Can't complain (yeah, just watch me!) because the rain is helping keep the spring flowers fresh and the hills green. We still haven't made up for the past couple of dry years. I like not having to water my lawn. And I actually like rain, as long as I'm not outside running around in it. Or driving in it. Or, well, anything in it.

I'm getting super excited about Stitches, even though I'm trying not to spend too much money (HAH!). I finished the yarn I have for my beaded silk small stole and it's too small. Hopefully there will be something at Stitches I can buy to complete it with. Otherwise I'll have to order something online and that just seems silly, with all the yarn that'll be local.

I don't know what I'm knitting next. Maybe I'll go home and play with the stash, try to remember why I bought some of it and think of something (easy and mindless) to work on. I'll report back!

New sport, new drills

New to me that is, old to everyone else who spends quality time in a pool. Last night Ms. Claudia and I met up for our first scheduled pre-tri training swim. This is to get us in good enough shape to start training for the Pacific Grove Triathlon which is on September 14th. I think our real training will begin the end of April, so this is just to ease the shock of trying a new type of activity. I repeat, right now we're only in training to train for the event, not actually training yet.

I'm very glad we started early because ow. Ow! I sure didn't remember from the last time I did any serious swimming (uh, 20+ years ago) that it was so much work. Maybe it's just that back then I was such a chain smoker that I didn't have the lung power to move too much. Or maybe it's that I was younger. Or maybe I had never participated in any kind of sport whatsoever and didn't know how to push my limits. Whatever the reason I was astounded when I climbed out of the pool after less than an hour that my legs would hardly support me. And my arms would barely lift above my head. We did drills and swims and kicks and back and forth and back and forth and good grief - I have a looooong way to go. Literally and figuratively. We hope to swim at least twice weekly from here on.

That doesn't even get into my issues about common showers and dressing rooms. For many reasons I have a very high modesty level and I'm not going to be able to be stripping down in a crowd. That's a problem that will be hard to deal with when real training starts. Right now it's no big deal since we're swimming about 5 minutes away from my house and I can change there. It was a little bizarre when we walked into the locker room last night. There was a crowd of girls, high school age or younger, and I felt like I was 14 years old again. And not in a good way.

I had early morning PT again today and the therapist seems to think I'm making progress. Yippee! I'm very impatient about getting back to running again but I'm terrified about setting myself back and having those shooting pains again. I continue with my exercises and stretches like a good girl. They take so much time I'm catching up on all my recorded television shows. I'm still hoping I can run a half in April. Fingers crossed!

Giving up, for now

I tried, I really did. I tried to wrap my mind, my eyes and my fingers around the lovely yarn and fascinating pattern that is the Secret of the Stole II. A row forward here, a row ripped there, and I ended up more frustrated and anxious. Knitting is my hobby. I don't need to be driven nuts by my hobby, I have family for that. So I'm putting it aside. When the knit-a-long is over I'll probably buy the pattern since from the examples I've looked at so far it's going to be beautiful. I have that huge hunka yarn that I want to knit someday. Just not now. I need easy, boring repetition now. Something that soothes and eases my mind and fingers. So long SOTSii, see ya again in a few months. Or years.

In its place I've been knitting the one row wonder that is the small shawl. I'm using Art Yarns beaded silk yarn which is a joy to knit with and beautiful to see. I'm not going to have enough so I'll have to buy something at Stitches which will either match or complement the project.

I totally frogged my Opera Scarf. Ripped out the entire thing. And in doing so somehow managed to strip the end off of one of my KnitPicks options cords. Shoot, I like that cord and it's too much effort to call and ask them to replace it. I'll have to wait until I need $50 worth of stuff from there and buy another one. I decided that although I love the pattern and I love the yarn (I'm using Lorna's Laces Shepherd Worsted in a gorgeous red) it needs to be open more. When I finish the small shawl I'll start over using larger needles. And the pattern has even changed since I started way back when. Now it's an easier one row repeat. Easy knitting for my busy mind.

I looked through my stash and decided that I can't buy anything at Stitches. Heh, yeah, right. But I'm planning on being much more discriminating this year. I have to be, I just don't have room for yarn piling up all over the place. I'm still waiting to get to some of the projects with last year's yarn. And from the year before. I'm looking forward to browsing but I just can't get into my normal buying frenzy.

I took a walk on Saturday; a whole two miles. Uh, yippee? I remembered at the last minute that since I was taking a slow walk I'd better dress warmer than I would for running. Good thing, it was in the upper 30's when we started. Bree and I strolled along with her puppy Nitro. He had a great time checking out the trail. We enjoyed it too!

The PT is coming along well. My knee hasn't had the shooting pains for a while (I haven't tried running either, so that could be why). I'm trying not to be impatient but I miss running terribly. I miss my running buds too. I'm starting to swim this week which will be another great adventure.

It's gray and cloudy out this morning, a perfect time to come to the office when nobody else is here. No traffic, no lines for coffee this morning. Holidays are great, aren't they!

Which Alice in Wonderland character are you?

Apparently I'm Alice:


"You scored Alice! You are kind-hearted and curious and give yourself very good advice, but seldom follow it, which leads you into trouble. You always try to be courteous and polite, but you become cross when people speak in nonsense to you and scold them sharply."

Which are you? Take the quiz and find out!

Therapy update

Ouchie, it hurts. My therapist warned me that my knee might get more sore before it started feeling better. He was right. The ultrasound feels good, deep down good. The active release feels bad, deep down bad. My leg felt bruised from Monday afternoon's session and it feels very sore after yesterday's session. I have pretty high hopes that this will not only cure the problem, it will make me better than I started.

I've been faithfully performing my stretches and exercises at home. I told the therapist that it was going to be hard fitting them in twice daily since they take about 45 minutes. He told me to try to find the time, then added 3 more. Yikes!

To fit in the PT and doctor appointments I've been getting up and going to work early, staying late. That hasn't been as hard as it could be since I'm going through another sleepless phase. Yawn. I'm tired most of the time. I'd probably fall on my face if I tried to run so it's a good thing he told me not to try running yet. But I'm allowed a walk this weekend. I'm supposed to stop before it starts hurting but I'm not quite sure how to do that. I'm hoping to get at least a couple of miles in.
Enjoy today's jewelry/chocolate/flower industries holiday!

Physical therapy

I had my first PT session yesterday and walked away with my knee sore and taped into place. I was assessed, poked, prodded and ultrasounded and my knee, which was fine when I walked in, was sore and swollen when I left. My instructions were to try a short run on the treadmill to see if taping helped, and to follow the 2 pages of exercises/stretches twice daily.

I was concerned about the whole taping business since I have an adhesive sensitivity. Just a plain old bandage will leave a rash outline if I leave it on for a few hours. But I'm willing to put up with just about anything to get back to running so I went along with it when he sprayed on an adhesive, placed one layer of light tape and another layer of (I'm sure it was) duct tape to hold my kneecap in place. With all that I couldn't bend my knee fully but it didn't feel bad.

After I got home I headed to the treadmill, popped in the latest episode of Brothers and Sisters and started running, slowly. It hurt where I normally get the shooting pains but I only had a dull aching pain with every step so I ran 2 miles. After that I gave up, figuring it was probably a bad idea to continue. Then I sat down and began the exercises which took 45 minutes to complete. I was totally wrung out when I finished, as if I had done a very hard run for two hours. And I'm supposed to do those twice daily??

This weekend I did my first upper body workout in -- oh, I dunno -- two years?? I was worried about starting to swim with no upper body strength and I was right to worry. I did one of my old tapes and used weenie weights, 4 pounds each. Since then my triceps have been talking to me. "Hi, remember us??" and why yes, I certainly do! Pitiful that such little weights are painful. I'm not going to be able to move for a week after my first swim.

I've gotten lots of knitting and knitting related work done in the last couple of days. I finished my mohair shawl and it looks great. I'll have pictures sometime soon. My cashmere scarf has dried and I love how soft it is. Last night I started an easy beaded silk scarf for which I think I won't have enough yarn, but maybe I can find something complementary at Stitches to finish it off with.

To celebrate our beautiful warm, sunny weather the Gratuitous Bear of the Week is Spring Butterfly Bear. Makes you want to go outside and commune with nature, doesn't he?

Oh the Horror!

It's all Claudia's fault. First she makes me drink too much wine and talks me into doing my first ever triathlon this year. Then she makes me realize that this involves swimming. Then she tells me I'll actually have to get in the water to swim, which involves wearing a swimsuit. Nooooooooo!

Since I'm not running these days I decided to join Ms. Claudia this afternoon for a pedicure. After all, might as well have pretty toes while I can. We sat and while we were being pampered we chatted about swimming. The last time I swam was in Maui in 2004 for the marathon. I was in good shape since it was just a couple of months after I ran Big Sur, a race for which I trained harder than for any before or since. The last time I swam regularly was in 1985. No, I'm serious. 1985. Some of you were in preschool then. So it's no wonder I forgot some of the details of swimming.

Goggles. Swim cap. Swimsuits. Nooooooo! Claudia tells me I can't swim in a moo moo. So all that meant a trip to the Shop of Horrors, otherwise known as the swim shop. I remember having a great pair of goggles (20+ years ago!!!) but of course they're much more high tech than they were then. In fact, they weren't any tech back then, they just sucked onto your face. I didn't wear a cap then because I didn't need to and they're so uncomfortable. Caps are now necessary. And the cute bathing suit that hides flaws isn't right for swimming.

We started with the goggles, moved over to the cap section, then faced the suits. Depressed the heck out of ourselves and then went next door to Genova and got sandwiches. Then I came home and beat my head against the wall.

I [don't heart] swimsuits.

At least it's Friday!

Last night was my big experiment using the patella strap while running on the treadmill. The first few steps hurt, but I figured that was because nothing ever feels good for the first mile. So I ran the whole stinking mile. And it hurt the whole time. Unfortunately it not only hurt at the knee cap but also hurt in the back of my knee. I ripped the strap off and started to run a second mile and ... stopped. What the hell was I thinking? I just wanted to run, and run, and continue going. But my knee ached and it was stupid even believing I could run any more. So I moved over to the exercycle. Big whoop. I managed another 20 minutes before my brain starting oozing out of my eyeballs, then quit.

I have my first 4 physical therapy appointments set up. I'm hoping for a combination of good, healthy medicine and a miracle here since I think that's what it'll take to get me running again. I've never done PT before so I'm not sure what to expect, but I have a feeling it'll hurt more before it starts getting better. Bring on the frozen corn!

I told you about that easy stole pattern I started knitting. It's even easier than I thought. Somehow my brain was totally fogged when I began because of course you don't increase every other stitch across a row. That just gives you a big long ruffle. I know that, I've knit that before (and gave away the scarf since it was 220 and itched my neck to pieces). But I continued on along my merry way until I had the gazillion stitches along the row and a thick ruffle. Finally I realized it had to be wrong, read the pattern yet one more time and realized that the increases were only on the first and last stitches. Sheesh. Frog pond for me! Mohair boucle isn't the best yarn to rip but it went easier than I'd thought it would. Then I started over. It looks pretty nice now! I'm not sure about it topping a black dress though, the yarn is sheddy.

I'm looking forward to the weekend!

Diagnosis and treatment

Well, the MRI didn't magically heal my knee. Not that I thought it would. Much. It's a joke between me and my sis that if you make the effort to see a doctor, or if you get a medical test, the problem will go away. Even the doctor asked if my knee felt better after the MRI. He must have the same theory of medical magic.

Monday afternoon I met with the orthopedist whom I had seen three years ago. Back then my knee, with some rest-ice-advil, magically healed itself so I had great hopes that the same treatment would work again. It didn't, forcing me to finally see the specialist. He discussed several possible causes and we agreed that an MRI would be in order so we could have more information to help make a treatment decision. I got that MRI yesterday morning and returned to the doc this afternoon.

Ooooh, pretty pictures. Lots of pretty pictures of my knee. That look to me like -- a knee. I have two separate issues that show up (to the doctor) on the MRI. I have runner's knee, technically chondromalacia patella, or patello femoral dysfunction. That means my knee doesn't track correctly and is causing inflammation. I also have a tear of posterior horn of the medial meniscus. It's small, in the vascular portion and it may be an old healed tear that still shows up. Old tears appear forever on MRIs so there's no way of knowing if this is an old or a new injury.

The issue my doc thinks is causing my problem is the runner's knee since that's where my pain is. So how do we fix this? We are in full agreement that the optimal outcome of any treatment is for me to be able to run lots and lots of marathons. I broke down and admitted that I'm most likely trying to run a marathon in every state. Jeez. If you can't be honest with yourself and your doc, who can you be honest with? So the agreement is that I have to take it slowly and do it right, so I can keep running until I'm 97 years old since that's how long it's going to take me to finish the rest of the 32 states I haven't gotten to yet.

For treatment he suggested that I first try running with a patellar strap. He said it probably won't work, the odds are against it curing the problem, but it's easy and very cheap to try. I'll buy one on my way home. I asked him since that meant I had to try running, whether I could join my friends for a 6-8 miler on Saturday. He just gave me a look. I revised that to say he probably meant I could run 1-2 miles on the treadmill. He nodded in agreement.

If that doesn't work the next step is physical therapy for a few weeks. Included in that will be strengthening my knee and instruction in taping my knee. Hopefully that'll cure the pain. If it doesn't work he'll try a one-time only cortisone injection.

As the goal is to run lots and lots and lots more marathons (and half marathons and 10k's and long training runs and short training runs and running until I'm 97) we'll take it slowly and hope that one of these things works. He said he knows runners and wants to oversee the rehabilitation to make sure I don't overdo it. Who, moi?? Overdo it? Ms. I-can-run-7-marathons-in-a-year overdoing it? Ok, maybe he has a point.

There is one good bit of news here. I was diagnosed with runner's knee. That means I'm a runner! Proof positive! I may be slow, may be overweight, may be out-of-shape right now, but I'm a runner. I've never really been able to truly consider myself a runner but here I am, with runner's knee, a real live runner. I actually live up to the name of my blog, Runner Girl Knits! It isn't jogger girl, or marathon girl, or slow poke girl, or aerobic exercise girl, or walker girl, it's Runner Girl.

Now I just have to be able to run again.

Go vote

If you live in California or any other state that's holding a primary election today, get your ass up and go vote. Go now. No, I don't care for whom you vote (well, I care, but that's not the point here). Go on, get to your polling place and cast a ballot. Unless you're a convicted felon or previously voted in this election by absentee ballot, get out there and exercise your right to have a say in how this country will be run. I'll wait.

Back so soon?

I'm a permanent absentee voter, something we can do here in California. As long as I continue to return a ballot for each election, I never have to track down a poling place, never have to wait in line, never have to listen to the last-minute blitz of campaigning because I've already voted. The convenience is amazing. I can't remember how long I've done this, but I don't think I've been to a poling place for more than 10 years. And yes, I always vote. I think if you're going to bitch and whine about the politicians or the ballot measures, you have to have a voice in whether they're elected or passed.

I went to the knee doc yesterday. I apparently have some fluid on my knee. Strangely enough, I have some on my good knee too. He told me a bunch of things it could be, most of which oozed out of my brain right after he said them. I'm a very bad patient that way. Since there's really no other way to tell what it is and since this is the second time in a few years that I've had the pain I had my very first MRI today. Gosh, that was exciting. ::yawn:: Tomorrow I meet with the doc again to figure out what's wrong, how to fix it and when I can get back to running. Or not.

Instead of working on the complicated SOTSii I started a new project. I really want to knit that lovely stole, especially when I've seen some of the pictures from people who are keeping up with the clues, but I don't have the focus right now. Neither visual or mental. I can't seem to follow either the chart or written directions and have just ended up more frustrated. So I'm putting it aside for a week or so, then I'll get back to it.

I was going to knit another hat for my mom, or finish a hat I had started out of the leftover yarn I used for the hat I made for my sis, or knit another scarf, but I wanted something different. Something bright. Something fancy. So I'm doing an easy shawl pattern out of lovely bright red boucle yarn. I don't feel like looking up any of the pattern or yarn links right now but I will soon. It's one of those patterns where you increase every other stitch in every row so after a few rows you have a gazillion stitches. Very easy to remember but it takes forever to finish one row. I think it'll be pretty when finished, the perfect topper for a little black dress.

Now I just have to be able to get into a little black dress. Curse you Fat Tuesday! What? Yeah yeah, I curse Fat Wednesday, Fat Thursday, Fat Friday and Fat Monday too.

Thank you for voting!

Starting over again, again, again, again

I can't keep track of how many times in the past couple of months I've made a fresh start. No matter, I'm doing it again. I'm planning on one day at a time (which is a much more relevant statement, considering my wine consumption lately), on my road back to healthy.

On thing's for sure, I won't be running there any time soon. Knowing that Monday morning I'd be calling the knee doc, I decided going for a few miles on the treadmill wouldn't hurt. Much. I was wrong. On Saturday I ran 3 very slow, very flat miles on the 'mill and when I finished my knee ached. The good news was that at least now I can specifically pinpoint the pain to show the doc. After a little ice, a little advil and a little elevation it felt -- maybe a teeny bit better. Not much. Crap. I'm hoping I can get an appointment in the next couple of days. Hopefully I'll be told to just do a couple of exercises, or just do some stretches, or just snap my magic fingers and it will be fine.

I was of very mixed thoughts about missing this morning's race, again. I didn't at all mind sleeping in past 4:15 am, didn't mind not being in the driving wind and rain. I minded terribly not being out there running with my friends. They all ran, had a wet cold morning, got the new medal and the shirt. I stayed warm and dry and truth be told, felt pretty darn sorry for myself.

My house is clean and straightened, I have a big pot of veggie soup stewing on the stove, I have lists of appointments to make and yarn waiting to be knit. I'm tired of feeling tired, bored with feeling sorry for myself. The pity party's over, time to try something else. A fresh start.

Again.

All alone

I'm spending this weekend very happily alone. My mom has healed up so well that she's staying down in SoCal and thus I won't have a house mate. This is a great weight off my shoulders, knowing that she's well enough to be alone. And knowing that my life is mine again.

I have no big plans other than catching up on sleep, knitting, maybe making a pot of soup, and not running a half marathon on Sunday. All things I enjoy (except the last).

Good luck to everyone running Kaiser Half on Sunday. I hope it rains and cold blustery winds knock everyone off the course. Heh. Just kidding.

I think.